Thursday, July 7, 2011

My Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves:

  • Pants on a warm day
  • Putting socks on
  • Making sure the shampoo covers my entire head
  • People who have 40 coupons, and don't bother telling the cashier until after everything's been totaled.
  • Finding a package of OREOS, only to find 1/3 of an OREO is left in the package.
  • Falling down stairs while holding a box
  • Waiting
  • People who don't get a joke, and try to correct me
  • Cellulite
  • Hats
  • 50 year old hippies with curly hair who won't let you brush their hair
  • Aging
  • Going on a first date and realizing in the first five minutes that the bitch be crazy boring
  • Eating most of a cupcake, only to find out on the last bite that it was moldy
  • Using the gym bathroom and noticing someone peed all over the seat
  • People who stop in the crosswalk
  • Honda Civics
  • Honda Fits
  • Smart cars, and people who think they're awesome
  • Going to ladies night, then realizing it's a gay bar
  • People who give me their philosophy on life while they're drunk at a bar on a Wednesday afternoon
  • Girls that don't tip me after a date
  • Sunburn and bad tattoos
  • Hearing a boring story twice
  • Hearing any story that doesn't relate to me
  • People who don't understand how great I am
  • People that light off a twenty minute barrage of fireworks at 2:30 in the morning
  • Old people yelling at me for doing something foolish, then asking me why I did it. I'm young, and in love, that's why I burned the word "Fuck" in your lawn, old man
  • Being proved wrong
  • Finding long strands of hair in my milk
  • Having someone tell me the book was better than the movie. No shit.
  • Road trips that end in Detroit
  • People who use the same five machines at the gym for over an hour, but use only two, until you come over

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