1. what are three ways to win your heart?
- Cotton Candy
- Cleavage
- Back rubs
2. do you like lightning?
Yes. Especially when it causes fire. Fire cleanses.
3. have you ever cut someone else’s hair?
Yes. Did they ask me to? No
4. last person you said ‘i hate you’ to?
I told my postman I hated her today.
5. rain or sunshine?
Is this a euphemism. I'm not gay.
6. last stupid thing you said to anyone?
I'll pay for that.
7. biggest turn off?
Penis
8. fave movie?
That movie where the pig befriends a spider, then the spider bites the pig, and then the pig bursts open and baby spiders come out of the pig, and the pig dies. That movie.
9. would you date someone who smokes?
Smokes what? I ain't no pink-lunged sissy boy.
10. would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?
Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Also yes. I always wanted to date a jonesing meth addict. They're so twitchy and full of life.
11. what’s your biggest turn on, physically?
I'd have to say the boobs.
12. would you have sex w. someone you weren’t dating?
Better question: Would I have sex with someone I was dating? The answer is, depends on how long she can hold her breath.
13. have you ever missed someone and regretted breaking up with them?
I may have missed certain things. But thankfully other women had those certain things... so no.
14. have you ever dated someone more than once?
Why? If you burn your hand on a stove, are you really going to do it again?
15. if you could go on ONE DATE with any celebrity, who would it be?
Ryan Reynolds. Let me finish. I'm not gay, but I just want to hang out with that dude.
16. what’s your relationship status?
I'm single, bit I like to mingle.
17. do you like cuddling?
Who doesn't like squeezing bitches and holding them? People that were molested... that's who.
18. do you hold grudges?
Fuck that noise. I have a hard enough time remembering people's names. I can't remember their name and remember if I'm pissed at them or not.
19. do you regret dating anyone?
I regret nothing.
20. hugger or kisser?
Thankfully I can multitask.
21. missing someone?
I kind of miss that bunny I petted at the pet store a few weeks ago. So soft.
22. most important lesson you’ve learned from your exes?
Never ask them if they want to get their little sister in the mix. Also, be your own person, and don't let anyone define you, and never lot other people affect your mood.
23. are you happier single or in a relationship?
I'm happy all the time. If you're unhappy you do something about it.
24. how important are looks?
Fairly important if you think about it. I'm probably not going to have much in common with a 300 pound chick, or heroin addict. Nor am I physically attracted to husky bitches or skeletors. And butterfaces... well you gotta kiss that face.
It's evolution.
25. would you rather date someone who was SUPER-HOT or someone who was nice?
Super hot only goes so far. I mean, if she's hot, but the date is like getting a root canal through the dick, I'm gonna date the nice girl.
26. do you stay friends w/ the people you’ve dated?
You don't post naked pictures of them on your Flickr account, and you only date cool people.
27. would you fight over someone you wanted to be with?
Yes. But if I meet a chick at a bar, sometimes the fight isn't worth it. I haven't invested much into it, so I could go either way.
28. do you kiss on the 1st date?
I fuck on first dates.
29. if someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them?
I have this policy. If they cheat while you're dating, it's a good idea to end the relationship. Dating is the trial period. If you get married, and they cheat, you can either work it out or not. But if we're dating and she cheats, there's a very good chance it's over.
30. some random girl comes up to you and says “who the hell are you”? What do you say back?
I'm Dan Samuelson you cunt-toothed Jezebel. Now stop looking at me, because I fear you're making me fat through visual osmosis.
31. are you spoiled?
Oh, Lord, yes. But look at me.
32. name three things you would not tolerate in a relationship?
- Cutting my face while I'm asleep
- Banging a hobo for spare change
- Wincing
33. which one of your friends do you think would make a good prostitute?
Joe Golemb
34. did you miss anyone today?
Was I already asked this question? I guess, besides the bunny, I miss my LEGO room
35. last person to see you cry?
I don't cry. It would ruin the World's perception of me. I'm a motherfucking lumberjack.
36. Who/what made you cry?
Feminine hygiene at its worst... that would make me cry. If I cried.
37. are you a forgiving person?
I'm a forgiving machine!
38. would you ever share a girl/boyfriend with your best friend?
You talkin' three-way? Probably not... unless my best friend was a chick, and my girlfriend was all like, "let's bang your best friend." But then I'd be like, "wait, you aren't just using this situation as a stepping stone to finally come out as a lesbian are you?" Then she'd go, "actually yes." Then I'd say, "But we'd still get to have the three-way..."
39. i’ve come to realize the last person who gave me a hug…
My mom. I was having a bad day.
40. are most of your friends guys or girls?
Fair mix, really. I just think of girls as dudes with small wieners. They are to be pitied.
41. how long does it take you to get ready to go out ?
8 minutes... tops. I'm a dude, I don't need to do much to look amazing.
42. how many people do you know of named Adam ?
Uh... I'm not gay.
43. are any of your friends cheerleaders ?
Wish they were. Then I'd be all like, "pyramid time", and jump on her back and make her hold me up while I cheered.
44. what was the last thing you burnt ?
Cigarette
45. what is your full name?
Rod Manstrong
46 what color is the bra you have on now ?
Oh, this is totally a list of questions for chicks. Damn you Facebook!
47. do you straighten your hair every day?
Why? I shave them?
48. do you worry about the size of your boobs?
I do. Sometimes I worry if the girl's boobs are too small my friends will make fun of me.
49. are you the typical girl who’s addicted to gossip?
I'm not a girl, but I love gossip
50. what are your favorite girly magazines?
The one's with them naked ladies in them
51. did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy?
Only if he promises to buy me dinner, keep his hands off my muscles
52. did you ever cry during a romantic movie?
I never cry... but I do get a little vercklempt at the end of Zoolander
53. would you leave the house without makeup on?
All the damn time.
54. what’s the biggest turn on about guys?
Not having penises, having boobs, and not being guys
55. are you a girly-girl, tomboy, or in the middle?
I'm a man.
56. is pink truly the best color in the entire universe?
No... clear is.
57. what’s the most expensive piece of clothing you own?
My coat. That shit set me back $200 on sale. I look good in it though.
58. what color do you absolutely despise?
If you despise shit like colors, you're a fucking psycho
59. have you ever stole?
I steal women's hearts (and Social Security cards) all the time
60. have you set your hair on fire?
No. I'm not a moron.
61. do you wear sweat pants?
Only in the winter, to the gym.
62. do you know anyone who has lost their virginity?
Yeah, their names are everyone
63. have you ever ran into a door because you didn’t see it?
No, but a door ran into me once
64. doesn’t 50 Cent suck?
No. He is a scary black man who survived being shot. I will not anger anyone who is those two things.
65. do you like hugs and kisses(xoxo:))?
You asked that ages ago
66. do you act gangster?
I'm white, and I have a personality. So no.
67. ever made a prank phone call?
Yeah, but I couldn't imagine how shitty a prank call from a girl who answers the questions would be.
68. last kiss?
Yesterday, after I told a girl to lose weight.
69. what bill do you hate paying most?
Insurance
70. where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Sardines.
71. what did you want to be when you were growing up?
Fighter Pilot, then a porn star. I hit puberty around the age of 7.
72. favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a guy?
Drink heavily
73. when did you first start feeling older?
When my knees started to hurt
74. favorite guilty pleasure?
Adopting an orphan, then giving him up to a different, even seedier, orphanage days later
75. what famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with?
Ryan Reynolds.
76. what famous person would you like to date?
Emma Stone for some reason
78. what do you hate about your school?
Their strict no nudity policy
79. last person whose bed you laid in besides your own?
I don't need a bed to pleasure a woman!
80. have you lost a friend recently?
No. They know the way back home.
81. ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex?
Yes, and how
82. do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
Not a lot, but you have to so that people know you're joking
83. is it easier to forgive, or to forget?
Forget. After falling it's super hard to remember
84. do you give out second chances too easily?
So easy I'm called the Lindsay Lohan of second chances
85. is your best friend pretty?
Uh...
86. is it awkward when you run into your exes?
Yeah. I'm kind of a big guy, so I feel bad if I knock them down
87. have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
I call it my mobile locker room
88. can you make yourself cry?
I am an ACTOR!
89. is your life simple or complicated?
That's a choice, and my choice is simple
90. are you easily confused?
Wha?
92. are you taller than 5′4″?
I'm longer than 6... er, yes,
93. have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
I love being treated like crap.
94. is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?
Not mostly. All
95. does everything really happen for a reason?
Yeah, assholes.
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