Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Whores

This is going to be about whores. So the group of man-bros I hang out with seldom have happenin' babes hang out with us. Sure, some of us do well with the ladies, and some of us lie about doing well with the ladies. But "the ladies" never really stick around with us casually. You know at places like bars, during band practice or our usual nights of pointless, drunken revelry.
That was until recently.
Now we have these three hangers on. All of them are whores, all are annoying, and all are not attractive... that is, they aren't skinny and their faces don't make up for that.
This one girl, henceforth known as Snooki, tries (and generally fails) to get dick in her vagina. One party she stayed up with us until 7 in the morning drinking, hoping one of us would throw her a pity fuck. I went home, then came back at 1 the next afternoon, and she was still there. I was like, "who bit the bullet, and fucked the troll". Apparently no one. She slung her vagina and there were no takers.
Then she banged one of our friends, and I figured, "awesome, now we'll be rid of her". Nope. Bitch is still around, trying to get dick from almost every guy.
There's also this THICK girl with a huge chin who is a down-right whore. She literally can't exist without some form of birth control. I think she's afraid she has so much sperm up in her tummy that if she skips taking her BC pills she'll suddenly become preggers.
The last girl is by far one of the more annoying. She has this high pitch scream she uses to get attention. Fucking high pitch. Anytime she sees me she tries to get me to fuck her. Which is downright annoying, especially considering I have rules against putting my dick in a girl whose gut outshines her titties.
I doubt she trims.
So here I am, with three annoying whores (2 out of 3 who went to Whitewater) and no way to get rid of them. They think that talking constantly about their vagina makes them independent women.

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