Saturday, January 1, 2011

Whitewater Wisconsin, What's Wrong with Your Women?

Whitewater, what the fuck is wrong with your women? It seems none of them are 100% legit. Case in point, I'm at this bar checking out my friends' band and the place is packed. The place is packed with a medley of misfit toys.

None of these chicks were built right. Either everything on top was groovy and the bottom half was all wrong, or the top half was terrible, and the bottom half was groovy. These women are the poster mavens of what happens when you stop exercising and live off an exclusively high calorie diet.

I remember jive walking over to a table full of ladies. I was looking to get my mojo flowing, and most of them had pretty cute faces so I was like "let's throw down".
Sadly when they stood up to dance with me I noticed something the table had hidden from me: bedonkadonks. Gigantic asses and thighs. I'm not black, nor am I a chubby chaser so I told them flat out, "you gotta be kidding me. Jazzercise, then get back to me".

Listen, Whitewater girls, you don't have much to offer. You're not that interesting, you're not that smart. The least you can do is make an attempt at fixing the only thing you have control over. God knows what a little cardio and not eating the whole fucking bag of Doritos will do for you.

With love,

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