Friday, March 27, 2009

Love, Sex, and Mental Handicap

An adoptive mother in the UK is pleading for a woman to have sex with her 21 year old son with Down syndrome. She feels that her son should be able to do the same things other people do; such as enjoy sex and find love. She feels compelled to get his V-card punched because, "If he doesn't get a girlfriend, I will feel really bad, because I have sold him this thing that he is like everybody else. That's why I'm working overtime to get this sorted for him." Otto has said that he's tried getting himself a girlfriend for a few years now and has had no luck, as well.

In my opinion this lady is off track. She wants Otto to feel loved, to feel a connection, but the thing is she's not asking anyone to fall in love with Otto. She's just asking someone to have sex with him, which isn't love; it's a result of love.

I think by getting Otto laid he's going to be let into a lot of harsh truths. He's going to realize that sex isn't love; he's going to feel empty. He figures that sex is the solution to feeling lonely, when it isn't. It can further complicate a person, especially a person with limited cognitive ability.
Otto needs to earn love, not be given a girlfriend, or a sex partner. He needs to deal with the rejection that people who don't have special needs deal with when it comes to love. He needs to grow from those rejections. But that's the focus of this, isn't it. In the quote above the adoptive mom says outright that she feels compelled to get him laid because the whole time she's told Otto he's just like everyone else.

This woman's lying to Otto, and she's willing to lie to him again (by showing him false love) to cover up her lie that he's just like everyone else. I'm not sure if this is something I should break to you people, but people with Down syndrome are not just like everyone else. They have a cognitive deficiency. They lack certain things that can allow them to develop; they lack things that allow them to socially interact. Otto is different.

Otto says he's tried to get a girlfriend for three years. I've tried for longer, it's part of life. Maybe he should realize that even though it's something he wants, a girlfriend doesn't mean it's going to be something he's capable of getting. And, who knows, maybe there is a girl out there for Otto, but this isn't the way to get a girl.

What does this teach him anyway? Can't find a girlfriend? Well, mommy will just have to ask strangers to have sex with you

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