Friday, March 18, 2011

Me vs. Women and Dudes that Like Feminists

Being a sick male is very hard. Harder than being a sick female, it seems. You see when a man is sick he requires additional attention, and is too weak or sickly to do basic tasks. Tasks like changing the television channel, making hot soup, and bathing himself.

Women, on the other hand, seem to be afflicted with illnesses that sap their energy to a lesser extent. They are able to change the channel, make soup, and nag, just as they normally would do when healthy.

I'm not sure why cold, flu and allergy symptoms in men are worse than females, but I can only guess it's because we men do so much more than women. Simply our immune systems are so taxed that the illnesses we catch are much more severe than a woman's.

A man's day is spent doing manly things, like cutting logs, thinking about man things like sports and politics, and going to the moon on rocket ships. A woman's day is spent mostly bitching, eating chocolate, and watching reality television.

We men are always going to suffer more severe symptoms until women start pulling their weight (and losing some of that weight) and stop nagging and help men do their manly things. How can a woman help? It wouldn't hurt to have the pot roast ready by the time I get home from logging the moon.

It'll take a long time for women to step up to the plate and help their male counterparts. Women are a vindictive, vengeful beast, if fashion magazines have taught me anything about them. Indeed women will probably prove my point by writing vengeful things in the comment section, and sending me hateful e-mails.

But, by golly, I think this note is worth it if just one woman will get that remote that lies just inches away from my finger tips.

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