Thursday, January 15, 2015

Cherry Coke Under the Table

I'm about that age where it seems a little weird that I haven't started a family. I'm a little late to the having kids party. I'm not against having kids but right now I'm just not into it. I'm sure if I accidentally knock up a bartender and I don't have the wherewithal to lie to her I'm pretty sure I could step up to the plate and be the greatest dad ever. In time I may want kids. Right now I'm pretty comfortable with what I have - which isn't a lot.

I have friends who are militantly against having children. It's not that they would just prefer not to have kids or something like that. Deciding not to have kids is actually a pretty solid choice. Some people just don't either see the need to have kids or are content with what they have. There's a million reasons why people don't want to have kids just like there's a million reasons why people want kids. The people that irritate me are the people who are militant in their resolve to not have kids - the people who "fucking hate kids".

A fair number of friends of mine have said they hate kids. Kids are little shits. They're dirty, they're annoying, they're fucking rude. What my friends don't see is how utterly fucking stupid it is to hate kids. Kids are just adults that haven't grown yet. Their brains are still trying to figure out this world; trying to figure out what's socially acceptable and what isn't.

Sure some kids act like bigger assholes than other kids. Maybe the parents are to blame, maybe the kid is possessed by the devil and wants to kill Julia Stiles. It's incredibly childish to hate kids. It's cool to hate the idea of having kids, but actually hating kids, taking issue with their very existence, is pretty lame.

They're just little humans whose brains haven't developed fully yet and who don't understand that plopping their cock out at Denny's isn't the best way to wait for your Cherry Coke to be refilled. Hating on them is childish. Are other people jealous that kids are getting attention and they aren't? Do they think it's bullshit that kids get a free pass to act like pricks and they don't? Do they think that when they were kids they were better? Do they think they're even better than a kid today?

Mother fuckers, I'm going to break it down for you. Hating on kids makes you look like a churlish bitch. "Oh wow. You hate an 8 year old with a lisp? Mad respect, bra! That'll show the little fuck you're better than him."

Look it's cool to hate the idea of having kids. But to constantly bitch and whine about kids and to specifically single out kids and say you hate them is fucking immature and childish. I mean great fucker, you hate the one thing that keeps us going as a species.

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